Difficulties · Family · Uncategorized

My one and only #elisarosas

Hi! (I’m greeting with a bit of a heavy heart)

The whole clan (Pastrana & Rosas clan) is still having a tough time because of my mom’s passing last September 28, 2016.

She had been in and out of the hospital since June or July I think because of her asthma. Well, actually, last June or July (can’t remember exactly when it was) she spitted out a large amount of fresh blood. Whenever she would drink and spit you would see a large amount of blood. It was more than a Manny Pacquiao effect of his punch. I told her to go to the hospital to have it checked. Mom and Dad went to Pasig City Gen Hospital (PCGH), she went home after a few hours and said that it was not really serious, she was given medicine for throat.

Come August, after eating avocado with milk she had vomitted and had diarrhea for 3 days in a row and was confined at Mother Regina Hospital due to low sodium. She got well.

On Sept 5, 2016, Mom was rushed to the hospital again due to severe asthma. She went critical… but was revived. She stayed in the ICU for 9 days and 1 day in the ward and discharge the following day. Since then, our poor mom started to deteriorate. She started from getting weak, she couldn’t sleep, could barely eat and went on a vegitative state a few days before she died. I don’t want to go through to details anymore because the pain is still fresh. I always miss her… ALWAYS.

There’s never a day that passes by I don’t think of her. I try to keep myself busy but no matter what I do especially when there is something that reminds me greatly of my mom… I miss her and the pain is still there.

According to the article I read online about grieving. Everyone has their own way and own pace of moving on. Some may recover and move on too quickly some may take awhile. Later on, time will heal and the pain would be lesser. Though the space would still be a space that our departed loved ones own.

Faith in GOD is the answer… though I would admit that the inner peace is still on the way for me. I always pray that our good LORD bless me with a joyous heart and inner peace and acceptance from what I have felt from my mom’s passing.

My birthday last week was not that happy because it was my first birthday without a “happy birthday bambi” from my mom. It was really really painful 😦
Now that All Saint’s Day and All Soul’s Day and Christmas and New Year are all around the corner… Our longing for our beloved #elisarosas is still there.

Mom,

I don’t know if you could read this. I have said the most important words that you should hear. I have said my I love yous many times especially when you were sick. I have said my “sorry” when I made you feel (really really) bad, and I have said my Thank Yous when you do me a favor when taking care of my son, but I would like to say sorry again for all my shortcomings, for the times I made you worried, for all the times I made you cried, for all the times I made you feel unloved. BUT mommy, you know how much I LOVE YOU.

Help me to move on pleaseeeee… Help me, kuya bong, kuya bojie and daddy to move forward. Help us to be happy again. I always miss you. I miss our kwentuhan. I miss you being my mom. I miss you a lot.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I love you my #elisarosas

Your eternal journey begins, You are always in our hearts

mommy_iloveyou

October 13, 1948- September 28, 2016

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